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Worlds of Fun, My Ass

May 6, 2012 By Kathleen Peine Leave a Comment

rollercoaster

Kathleen Peine: Oh my god, I can feel the bags under my eyes growing and those bags have bags and those bags are full of drugs and a .357. This is what old ladies do. They let pink faced cats and neurotics lead them into the abyss.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: 13 Year Olds, Amusement Park, Amusement Parks, Blazing Saddles, Bravery, Campfire, Cowards, Fred Garvin, Friend Tara, Gastrointestinal Distress, Hookers, Inner Ear Problems, Own Car, Slackers, Stamina, Stomachs, Telling The Truth, Time Farmers, Wetting My Pants, Worlds Of Fun

When Everyone Gets a Trophy, No One Wins

April 20, 2012 By Michael Sigman 1 Comment

redheaded student

Michael Sigman: America’s “everyone gets a trophy” syndrome has become a national joke. “A” grades, which once conveyed excellence, are now given to 43 percent of all college students

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Anderson School, Boy Girl Boy Girl, College Credentials, College Students, Collusion, Education News, Elementary School, Five Year Olds, Garrison Keillor, Girl Boy, Grade Inflation, Grim Face, Healy, Huey Long, Inflation, Interest Rates, Kansas School, Kindergarten, Lake Wobegon, National Joke, New York Times, Percentage Points, Percentile, Private School Children, Private School Students, S Lake, Student Awards, The Fed

Spearing a Tax Deduction

April 20, 2012 By Walter M. Brasch Leave a Comment

britney

Walter Brasch: Just because she can dance, flash skin, and lip sync at the same time doesn’t warrant a museum. And in your case, even if you do build a monument, it will remain as empty as your own life.”

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Air Guitar, Britney Spears, Charitable Contributions, Choreographers, corporate wealth, Designer Labels, Gaggle, Hbo Concert, Irs, Kentwood Louisiana, Kids Art, Lip Sync, March Of Dimes, Marketing Geniuses, Mini Mart, Museum Science, Pop Music, satire, Scale Replica, Spare Change, tax deductions, Teen Bedroom, Ten Dollar Bills, Time Doesn, Toaster Museum, Voodoo Museum

Limbaugh’s Legacy: How to Say You’re Sorry When You’re Not

March 9, 2012 By Michael Sigman 1 Comment

rush limbaugh

Michael Sigman: Here are 15 Rush-inspired non-apology apologies, plus a bonus track not available elsewhere.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Absurdity, Bonus Track, Brouhahas, Conservative Circles, Debacle, Fluke, Fuzzball, Illumination, Inappropriate Words, Innocent Woman, Jester, Outcry, Oxycontin, Personal Insults, Political Courage, Power Player, Rush Limbaugh, Thoughtful Conservatives, True Legacy, Ungentlemanly Behavior

Star Gazing: Comets, Actors, and Angelina’s Right Leg

March 5, 2012 By Walter M. Brasch 1 Comment

angelina jolie

Walter Brasch: For awhile, Angelina’s skinny knock-kneed leg on one of the most beautiful actors and humanitarians allowed people to temporarily forget rising gas prices, layoffs, and a vicious presidential political campaign.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: academy awards, Airtime, angelina jolie, Astronomers, Brain Cells, California Stars, Comet, Comets, Five Billion, Griffith Park, Kahoutek, Kudos, Life Relationships, Light Years, Male Actor, Mid Life Crises, Mt Palomar, paul mccartney, Perfect Sky, Scratches, Warp Speed

Double Down: Block That Metaphor, Twice

February 29, 2012 By Michael Sigman 1 Comment

blackjack

Michael Sigman: Shrieking right-wing Romney-endorsing pundit Ann Coulter, alarmed at the vulnerability of the Mittsterizer, doubled down on her “insistence on Romney.” (She did not, however, double down on her earlier doubled down insistence that Romney would lose.)

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Arlen Spector, Blackjack, Chickenhawk, Democratic Side, Donald Trump, Double Down, Economic Illiteracy, Education Religion, Frank Sinatra, Grain Of Wheat, Headline Writers, Herman Cain, Kerfuffle, Media News, Michele Bachmann, Mitch Daniels, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Obama, Palin, Pawlenty, Pivot, Poker, Poker Player, Political Pundits, Randy Newman, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Video

Occupy!: Does Diction Reflect Conviction?

January 30, 2012 By Michael Sigman Leave a Comment

kennedy nixon debate

Michael Sigman: Will this year’s winner be political (battleground states), funny (lunar colony) apocalyptic (baktun [Mayan apocalypse]) or none of the above? To answer that, we’ll give the late, great Bob Marley the last word.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: American Dialect Society, Bob Marley, Cookie Monster, Culture News, Diction, Euphemistic, Facebook, Frivolity, Jfk, Mark Zuckerberg, Mayan Apocalypse, Mitt Romney, Moneymakers, Occupy Wall Street, Occupy!, One Percent, Paeans, Person Of The Year, Polarization, Preoccupation, President Obama, Presidential Candidates, Public Consciousness, Public Discourse, Puzzler, Quemoy And Matsu, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Richard Nixon, Selection Committee, Strange Names, Taiwan Strait, The 99 Percent, Top Contenders, Word Of The Year, Word Of The Year 2011

The Genetic Reason Some Of Us Are Happier

September 29, 2011 By Michael Sigman Leave a Comment

happy-woman-wide

Michael Sigman: I once dated a woman who was happy. She slept well, ate when she was hungry and exercised when her body needed it. I had insomnia, ate gallons of chocolate chip ice cream and ran eight miles a day.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Better Living Through Chemistry, Blogger, Chip Ice Cream, Chocolate Chip, Depressive Symptoms, Eight Miles, Flowing Rivers, Genetic Reason, Google, Happiness Quotient, Happy Hour, Life Scientists, Neurotransmitter Serotonin, Nucleotides, Oxytocin, Oxytocin Receptor, Receptor Gene, Reruns, Researc, Right Side Of The Bed, Verdant Meadows

A Hunka Hunka Bernhard Love

August 13, 2011 By Ed Rampell Leave a Comment

sandra-bernhardt-short

Ed Rampell: If you love your humor hurled like a drone missile and dripping with irony, then head on down to the REDCAT to achieve your sarcasm orgasm at Sandra Bernhard’s I Love Being Me, Don’t You? Believe you me, Disney has never been like this!

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Backup Band, Bad Girl, Crooner, Dancing With The Stars, Disposable Income, Fashion Sense, Gal Pal, Hunka Hunka, Intrepid Souls, Musical Performance, Palin, Pop Numbers, Pretense, Reaming, Redcat, Sacred Cow, Sandra Bernhard, Shibboleth, Stage Setup, Woman Show

Satirist Paul Krassner Turning 80, Going Strong

August 7, 2011 By Michael Sigman 1 Comment

paul-krassner-wide

Michael Sigman: There’s irony in the fact that Paul Krassner sees “increasing insanity” in our current politics and culture. The 1960s activist whom the FBI once tagged “a raving, unconfined nut,” told me recently that “insanity is evolving along with everything else.”

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Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Associated Press, Counter Culture, george carlin, Groucho Marx, Harry Chapin, Jesse Jackson, Keynote Speaker, Lefty, Lenny Bruce, Lucky Break, Misadventures, Paternity Test, Paul Krassner, People Magazine, Realist, Satirist, Singer Songwriter, Tom Hayden, Unavailability, Underground Press, Wishful Thinking

Popular This Month

Brenth Budowsky: What is
astounding and incomprehensible is the degree that Obama and too many Democrats have surrendered on first principle policies where the majority of voters agree with the
progressives.

mike price marsha williams

Wayne Williams: Mike was cantankerous, brilliant, stubborn, and, of course, funny. He never knew his parents, was adopted and raised by a casino boss, served with the U.S. Marines in Korea, wrote for many comedy shows and comics, and wrote perfect prose to his hearts content, performed stand up himself, and taught others how to do so as well.

no strings attached

Steve Hochstadt: Is Hollywood trying to push a gay agenda on right-thinking Americans, as some people claim? I think it’s the other way around: Hollywood is trying to sell products.