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2024: On Your Marx, Get Set…

Ed Rampell: Tossing her beret into the ring in 2024, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez runs for president as the candidate of the newly formed People’s Party. Her running mate is quarterback Colin Kaepernick and their slogan is: “Let’s score a touchdown for the Revolution!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The publishers bear no responsibility for the contents of the below, which is solely the product of the writer’s feverish imagination: Call it “Operation Warped Mind.” This is a work of alternative, speculative fiction and satire set in the near future. It is a history that chronicles events that haven’t happened. Additional chapters will periodically be added as they occur to the brain-addled author. Aside from the space between the writer’s ears, none of the depicted dialogue spoken or acts undertaken have actually taken place – yet…

On Your Marx

The storming of the U.S. Capitol Building on Jan. 6, 2021, had a domino effect, triggering a series of events. Most significantly, the invasion of the Capitol immediately ignited the 2024 race for the White House that began on Jan. 7, 2021…

In early 2024 the presidential election heats up in an increasingly divided, fragmented USA as massive inequality, widespread unemployment, climate change, the pandemic’s lingering effects in a society minus universal healthcare, rocked by rightwing domestic terrorism and leftwing mass protests sweep the land.

Tossing her beret into the ring, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez runs for president as the candidate of the newly formed People’s Party. Her running mate is quarterback Colin Kaepernick and their slogan is: “Let’s score a touchdown for the Revolution!”

Tossing her beret into the ring, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez runs for president as the candidate of the newly formed People’s Party. Her running mate is quarterback Colin Kaepernick and their slogan is: “Let’s score a touchdown for the Revolution!” The progressive ticket is backed by the Left United Front of America or LUFA, for short, which proclaims: “LUFA will exfoliate America!” LUFA consists of Black Lives Matter, Antifa, anarchists, CodePink, lefty labor unions, Black Bloc-ers, the Sunrise Movement and other Green New Dealers, liberation theology Christians (led by Michael Eric Dyson), Democratic Socialists of America and the country’s far left Marxist parties, plus the “Sandernistas,” who – fed up with the domination of the Democratic Party by its corporate, centrist, DLC wing – split off to help co-found the People’s Party of America.

Presidential candidate AOC runs on the PPA’s MADA platform: Make America a Democracy for All. This program calls for a Constitutional Convention to democratize America by scrapping elitist throwbacks such as the Electoral College in favor of the popular vote. MADA also calls for changing the USA’s official name to the “People’s Democracy of America.”

Furthermore, MADA proposes to democratize the economy with its so-called “Trump tax”: Soak the rich by radically redistributing the wealth of the 1%, starting with members of the Trump dynasty. Under the plan, Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago and similar properties, hotels and resorts will be nationalized and turned into housing projects for the homeless, while Trump golf courses are transformed into agricultural collectives to grow food for the poor.

Breaking with tradition, AOC announces some of her cabinet picks if she’s elected. Professor Richard Wolff will head the U.S. Treasury and enforce IRS efforts to tax the rich. Following her successful prosecution of Donald Trump for tax evasion, New York Attorney General Letitia James is to be appointed U.S. Attorney General in order to impose law and order on the capitalist class. Attorney Benjamin Crump would head the Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division, while Cori Bush is to be moved from Congress to become the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s Director. Melina Abdullah becomes the Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services.

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After being pardoned on day one of AOC’s presidency, Edward Snowden will return home from Moscow to a tickertape parade down Manhattan’s Fifth Ave. and then sworn in as Director of National Intelligence. Bernie Sanders’ perch will be as Secretary of Labor, with Prof. Cornel West as Secretary of State. Secretary of Peace (formerly known as the Secretary of Defense) Medea Benjamin and Undersecretary Jane Fonda will close all overseas U.S. bases and preside over the defunding of the Pentagon, providing Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alicia Garza with the funds needed to finally win the war on poverty.

On Your Marx

On the right, Don Jr. (who is out on bail after appealing his conviction for inciting insurrection on Jan. 6, 2020 as one of the “D.C. 10”) is the standard bearer of the America First Party, which split off from the GOP and is supported by rightwing extremists, including the NRA, Proud Boys, Boogaloo, Oath Keepers, anti-vaxxers plus assorted sordid white Evangelicals and conspiracy crackpots. The America Firsters’ Vice Presidential candidate is QAnon fellow traveler Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Their MAGAA (Make America Gringo Again Again) program demands clemency for Donald, the D.C. 10 and deporting of all non-U.S. born residents, starting with Melania, whose testimony after she turned state’s witness put Donald behind bars for inciting insurrection, tax fraud, domestic abuse and you-name-it. (Trump decided not to run for reelection from Sing Sing’s psychiatric ward after the warden ordered he could not remove his straitjacket and get the pancake makeup, hair products, crazy glue, etc., the ungroomed orange ogre required to make himself look “telegenic” for Trump’s chumps.)

Other MAGAA planks promise to declare martial law against protesters and building a wall around cities where urban unrest occurs to be paid for by Cuba, plus a restoration of McCarthyism by revoking U.S. Code § 230 protections for social media and the First Amendment rights of those enemies of the people, the free press plus MADA advocates – and of anyone else who disagrees with America Firsters. Of course, on Day One, Don Jr. plans to pardon himself, other members of the Trump dynasty and his co-defendants of the “D.C. 10” charged with inciting insurrection and the invasion of the Capitol Building.

Taking a page out of AOC’s book, Don Jr. announces his cabinet nominations, which include his fellow “D.C. 10-er” Jake Angeli (who campaigns in his trademark horned helmet), Mike Flynn as CIA Director and Sarah Palin as Education Secretary. Former Senator Josh Hawley (who was expelled from the Senate for inciting insurrection) will be Secretary of State, while his fellow ex-Senator Ted Cruz will head the DOJ. Proud Boys co-founder Nick Ochs, also a member of “Murder the Media,” is designated to serve as Secretary of Defense, with Richard Barnett, the D.C. 10-er, who’d occupied Speaker Pelosi’s office during the Jan. 6 Capitol rampage, is tapped to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

The new Left and right parties are also facing off in the presidential election against the remnants of the traditional parties that dominated U.S. politics for 150-years. After 80-year-old President Biden proved to not be up to the task, Joe was removed from office. Instead of choosing a left-leaning Democrat to serve out her term as Vice President, President Kamala Harris selected moderate West Virginia Congressman Joe Manchin to be veep and then run on the Democratic Party ticket with her in 2024. Of course, this contributed to the ensuing split in the Democratic Party that saw the departure of the Sanders wing, the Squad (which had grown so large after the 2022 midterms that they became known as the “Battalion”), the Progressive Democrats of America and other reform-minded elements that had finally had it with the Party establishment’s corporate centrists and DLC holdovers.

Once Trump left office, was indicted and imprisoned with Melania’s help (gaining immunity for herself, but of course, in the process) and The Donald’s crimes were laid bare before the public, the so-called “Never Trumpers” and Lincoln Project keepers of the flame took back the reigns of the Republican Party. Unlike the People’s Party or America Firsters but like the Democrats, the GOP maintained a nationwide, state-by-state primary race, and Mike Pence, John Kasich, Mike DeWine, Chris Christie, William Kristol, Mitt Romney, Adam Kinzinger and Max Boot run for the Republican nomination in a free-for-all.

Of course, all four parties and their followers are on a collision course; it’s MADA versus MAGAA versus business-as-usual in a fractured USA, as all hell breaks loose in 2024…

Ed Rampell

Stay tuned as the Second American Revolution unfolds!

Ed Rampell