It's Part 2 of What Do Women Want? by that risky, daredevil Daniel Bergner.
So let's get right down to it, shall we?
Let's get down to...the experiments.
Not gonna lie, this is the section of the book where my brain definitely hurt from scientific raunch, so here are super-quick "Spark Notes" on the cheeky stuff going on in the sexology labs.
The book delves into the sexual behaviors of female...
(And assumes human females are the same...at their biological core.)
So according to Bergner, girl monkeys were quite the sexual aggressors, as they were the ones that would go on the prowl and "stalk their sexual partners," while the male monkeys...well...I guess, sat around eating bananas and let it happen.
I'd share more of the exact details of sweet monkey "love-making" but alas it's too long and crazy and not necessarily relevant BUT here's an interesting find...
One thing discovered was that females would become more captivated with the males at a certain point in their ovulation process.
So basically, a guy who was sighted at the peak of a woman's ovulation would find that the woman becoming "transfixed" with him.
Whereas, a male who's "initial viewing" occurred during a female's lower hormonal stretch ended up being kind of ignored:
"You don't want a woman to form her first impression of you when she's in the wrong menstrual phase. You'll never recover."
Of course, how you find out what menstrual phase she's in, I have no idea...
...but fascinating all the same.
Here's the lowdown on lady rodents:
Female rats respond highly to their male's "hormonal scents." (Get your smell on!)
Female rats "prolong" the sexual process and "draw out" mating to last longer, compared to the male rats (haha, what else is new?).
Oh and weirdly enough female rats are into "positions" and it was them not the males that controlled "the pace of mating."
I must say, I had no idea girl rats were so sophisticated in getting their sexual desires met but apparently this is the case...
"Female rats do what feels good."
Good to know.
And then it gets seriously rat raunchy in the research rooms between scientists touching and stimulating the rats in certain places and...oh yeah...they also discover this:
And pay attention all YOU L.A. pill poppers.
Anti-depressants kill the sex drive.
I mean kill it.
When they injected the female rats with anti-depressants, the ladies stopped courting the males- they just basically didn't care.
The serotonin reduced urgent need and impulse and replaced it with thoughts and orderly actions, so under the anti-depressant influence...
"A woman making love is likely to find herself thinking about the next day's schedule rather than feeling overtaken by sensation and craving."
So guys, before sending your crazy girlfriend off to the psychiatrist think to yourself- "what will this do to my sex life?"
And if either of you have to be on anti-depressants, the thing to do is always make sure the serotonin and dopamine are in the right balance...then that erotic energy will remain.
Otherwise- You. Have. Been. Warned.
As with the monkeys, Bergner makes the point that rodent females "do more hopping and darting to score with new mates."
So in both monkey and rat experiments, it was the females that were the sexual initiators.
At this point Bergner meets up with a researcher Jim Pfaus, who doesn't study animals but studies behavioral neurobiology and has also been studying porn addiction (we've graduated from animals to humans now, FYI) who says that 4 years ago 1 out of 4 porn addicts was female, now it's 1 out of 3.
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An example of rising female "internet lust" is James Deen's fanbase, which is a particular hit with teens and young women...
...there's going to be a lot of angry daddies out there!!
Pfaus also points out that in the last few years vibrator sales have skyrocketed.
Actually, I don't know if that necessarily points to increased horniness amongst females or the sad fact that there are a lot more long-term single people out there, male and female, who'd rather just get their needs met simply and not really try for any real human sexual intimacy...
...but that's a discussion for another article.
Needless to say, enough of Pfaus' studies provide him with these thoughts:
"Why have we boxed in women's sexuality? Why do we keep women's desires relatively repressed? We men are afraid that if we open the box, open her control, we're open to ourselves being cuckolded. We're afraid of what's being inside."
The next chapters focus on the next KEY aspect of female desire, which I think is pretty relevant in this day and age, when so many relationships happen quick and then just fizzle sexually.
And, yes, in a way, it seems to totally contrast with what Bergner said before about females being the ones who (at their basic animal nature) go for it but that just means...
....females are complicated!!!
And that's why you love us.
Anyway, as much as (at an animalistic level) females go for their partners, they also need to be desired, especially for the long term sustainability of a relationship.
Yes, narcissism seems to be "at the core of women's sexual psyches."
Being desired, being wanted, having that "oomph" from a man where his "hunger for a woman is beyond his control."
Many women that Dr. Marta Meana interviewed who were in relationships would say:
"We have a great relationship. It's just that one area..." and you guessed it, that "area" was the bedroom.
Whether single or taken these women all basically had "the wish to be the object of primal need."
But they weren't.
And this was causing frustration.
One of the major problems was to be an object of lust "required not closeness but a measure of distance" before the "full force" of the drive between man and woman could be felt.
And, to be honest, isn't that what makes the best love stories and romance movies? If the lovers just meet and got together, it's boring, there would be nothing memorable, nothing to conquer...
...obstacles and distance are what builds the sexual tension and makes us think our now unified leads will have a great time (including in the bedroom) after the credits roll.
Aside from wanting to be longed for, once "caught," women no doubt needed their narcissistic desires still fulfilled-
"I'm attracted to the fact that he's attracted to me."
I mean, I'd assume that's the case for men and women, right?
But then things get down and dirty in Bergner's book (as if they weren't already) with pages and pages and pages of accounts of women revealing their fantasies.
And, yeah, top of the list are the...
Now don't go nuts, this isn't endorsing what you think it is.
There's a specific definition to it and all will be explained in more detail in the next installment of What Women Want?
Though I can't deny, things won't get a little controversial.
Until then, here's some Barry...
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Friday, 16 August 2013