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Brussels Sprouts (Palm Sunday 2016) • Parting Words to AIPAC

Brussels Sprouts

Brussels Sprouts (Palm Sunday 2016)

Tilling time,
a frail farmer's pitch fork
plunged deeply into dark European soil.
Terrified, and to avoid harm,
100 earthworms burrowed to safety.

It was never a good time to be a worm,
and only one indolent crawler happened
to fall victim to the farmer's pitch fork.

Condemned to constant agribusiness peril,
a caste of “kind and gentler”
elder worms ruled the soil wisely,
and all came to fear “extraordinary rendition”
to foreign soil..., an existence inside tin cans.

After terrible WW II aerial bombardment,
The 1st Department of Subterranean Security
issued primary advice:
“Proceed downward three inches, keep cool,
cut through weed, rub around rock,
and avoid ingesting killer lime!”

Upon surface,
the dismembered earth worm watched
as the farmer pat donkey, and unloaded
Brussels Sprouts seed from a hemp sack.
On knees, farmer pushed spade into ground,
and made life giving graves for 50 plants!
Menaced and fanatical,
one half of worm fled west to Normandy,
the other beheaded half, south to Byzantium.

Job done, the weary farmer knelt,
took deep breath, and made sign of the cross.
He mumbled “The Our Father,”
but from somewhere deep inside the ground,
he heard slimy voices chant,
“That EU seed you planted this year in garden,
have corpses begun to sprout.” *

* Paraphrased from T.S. Eliot, The Wasteland, I. The Burial of the the Dead..

A prospective 1%'er's parting words to AIPAC

Just outside D.C. Convention Center,
Terry the Tramp's studded leather boot
lowered the Harley Davidson kickstand
at an illegal D.C. parking space.
Looking upward into a crystal night sky,
he heard a doorman's voice,
“Hey, Mister, why are you out in daylight?” *

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Terry grabbed crotch, laughed:
“I come to figure out on which side
the (expletive) sun rises on the Black Hills.”

Later, at podium, unused to bright lights
except for Pig's flashing rotators,
Terry the Tramp said to AIPAC:
“When I become a 1%'er,
I will build an armada of land-to-air drones
and assemble seven divisions of Hell's Angels
to patrol the Ten Cities of the (expletive) Homeland!

Crowd: “You are the messiah!”

Clutching switchblade, Terry continued:
“I hung with a Jew girl during Nixon-Agnew.
She bought me acid and ran for beer!
Naked, she'd ride atop my Harley gas tank
with a black rose stapled to her hair.
O yea, and we did love and crime beneath
an upturned Palm Beach lifeguard boat,
and she let me go for a scumbag reporter!”

Terry clutched throat, yelled,
“Tell me, what must I do
to inherit eternal vagabond life?”

A prophetic voice from the audience,
“You must support Israel!”

“Uh, wait a minute dudes,
hold on, be sensible...,
consider that I'm going to be a 1%er
and not part of the (expletive) 1%?
I thought this here conference was about
Peter Piper picking AIPAC of pickled peckers!”

Exit Terry the Tramp
for the Low Electoral Vote Hills.
Enter Hillary, she pushed aside veil,
adjusted mic, got defensive, said,
“Now look here everybody, including Trumpbo!
To my knowledge, my husband never had
a reporter job during Nixon-Agnew!”

* Terry the Tramp is the unforgettable outlaw who rode with The Hell's Angels,
and is immortalized in the late- Hunter S. Thompson's, Hell's Angels: The Strange and
Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs. (1966)

Charles Orloski