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Clint’s Christmas Treat Supreme

Paul Lojeski: Yes, obedient citizens of the Fourth Reich, just for you on this sacred day of consumeristic release, it’s American Sniper!!!

Hey, after you’ve opened the presents
made by your young friends in China
and Vietnam, grab the kids, grandma,
the dogs and cats and jump over to

the sniper

the nearest Matrix Cineplex 6. And
stock up on tubs of popcorn, giant
sodas and extra-large boxes of Junior
Mints and, then, settle in as close

to the screen as you can and get ready
for a blast of true blue, heart-warming,
fascist, family hi-jinks in yet another
spectacular blood-fest from that genius

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of sentimental, patriotic killing, Mr.
‘I Can’t Stop Making This Shit’ Clint
Eastwood. Yes, obedient citizens
of the Fourth Reich, just for you

on this sacred day of consumeristic
release, it’s American Sniper!!! Oh,
man, it’s the master’s holiday bloodbath
of love and goodwill for the land of the free.

And when it’s over, take the whole, crazy
klan on down to the firing range and burn
through a couple thousand rounds of the heavy
caliber stuff. Oh, Merry Christmas, baby.

Merry Christmas.

Paul Lojeski